Roll the Credits

Title: Five Daily Rules to Live By Each Day
Director: Brooke Routh

No one wants to be forgotten. We have monuments, memorials, and even holidays so people do not forget certain people or events that have happened over time. In movies, the credits at the end of the movie give credit to those individuals who have put in time and dedication towards the making of a movie. They want to be recognized for what they have done. Now, we may not have a monument or movie, but each of us do not want to be forgotten. We all in some form or fashion want to make an impact. Each of us have a movie of our lives. At the end of movies are credits. Who would be in your credits? Family? Friends? God? Or do you lack any of these credits? Would you be ashamed or accept these credits at the end of your movie?

Recently, my friends have been affected by two young lives taken from this world. This inspired me to write a blog about what most people blog about...life. Death is something that is inevitable just as rain, sunshine, and taxes are. Time is another element of life that is inevitable. My first year of college flew by so quickly. The last day felt like the first and the rest was a blur. I've met amazing people that I've felt like I've known all my life. Time has a funny way of seeming to go by faster as we get older. When we are younger we couldn't wait until we were older. We all wanted to drive that new car, go on that awesome prom date, or even date that boy that made you feel like that you could never love again. Even though time seems to speed up and make us think that there is no way that 60 seconds are in a minute. Time has not changed. And as time "speeds" up, we forget who we are and what really is important in our lives. Sometimes we lose that chance to let others know who we really are or simply that we love them. Although I am not afraid of death because I know there is freedom through death, I decided to make a list of five goals I believe everyone should have ever day. These goals reflect how I would want people to remember me. I would want them to know that only God can judge me and my actions as a Christian, but I believe that Christ died on that cross for me and through His grace I am given an eternal home in Heaven with Him because of His self-less act. That was Christ's purpose...to give us freedom from our sins. We all have a purpose in life. I can't change the world as earth shattering as that would be. I can impact one person, who will then impact another and soon many others.There are 5 daily rules I want to live by because at the end of my movie I want the credits to roll on and inspire others.

1. Smile
You never know who's day it may make. As a nurse, doctor, or whatever I decide to do when I grow up, I want to make some one's day by doing a simple act. A smile ensures trust.
2. Pray
Good or bad times...always pray.
3. Inspire
I always try to stay positive and keep every one's heads up even when I feel like I can't lift my head up anymore. Encouragement and making others believe in themselves is a rewarding gift. Make others want to better themselves each day.
4. Always say I love you and Never say Good-bye
Love is the strongest emotion humans can show and even when someone is not with us it still exists. Something that strong should be said everyday as a reminder to those around us. Good-bye means forever as if you will never see that person again, so if you know me very well I always say see you later. See you later means there will be another time.
5. Do not just exist each day...live. Live for God
You never know when it will be your last day to roll your credits.

The End

Elimination

In life we all eliminate things, people, or memories. I have tried to eliminate people who have hurt me from my life. I've tried eliminating things I haven't needed over the year from toys to uniforms. I've tried to eliminate memories that I wish had never happened. Whatever the reason I wanted to get rid of my things, I know that they were just passing another phase of my life to be replaced by something else in the next stage. Whatever the reason I wanted to forget the bad memories, I know that they were just lessons learned, and I should never forget the lesson left behind.Whatever the reason someone may have hurt me, I learned in the long run that forgiveness is the key to true elimination.

With that being said, have you ever wondered what true forgiveness really is? Is it the words, "I'm sorry." Is it doing something in return for that wrongful deed? Today, in nursing class we did an activity that involved eliminating things or people close to you due to a serious illness that has overtaken your body. You start off with a list of four people close to you. One short-term goal you have in life. Two things you enjoy doing. One long-term goal in life. Two personal things you possess you treasure.
My list:
1. Dad
2. Mammaw
3. Kourtney
4. Kami
5. Nurse Practitioner
6. Playing the piano
7. Dancing
8. Cure to Diabetes
9. Faith
10. Kaiden (puppy)

As I started to eliminate things one by one, it made me realize how easily things can be taken away from you in a heartbeat. Sometimes life is out of control. Sometimes we feel like we are a hamster in a wheel spinning our wheels and headed nowhere. Sometimes we feel like giving up and eliminating everything. Sometimes the things on our list I realized are the only things keeping us alive. When uncertainty in life comes upon us, I realized that crossing the items off one by one by what I consider important. To most of you, one would assume that your father or mother would be the only one not eliminated from the list, but unlike the rest of my class I chose my faith. Christ said, "Pick up your cross and follow me. Leave behind all your possessions, your father, your mother." In the end, when life has you spinning your wheels, faith is all you have left. I love all of these things on my list more than words can express, yet without my faith I am an empty soul living life for what purpose? I pray that the last thing on your list would be your faith in God above all things.

Reliable(adj)-that may be relied on; dependable in achievement, accuracy, honest. I like to define words, because it gives it well- meaning behind it, validity, truth, or just simply reliability. I like the facts over an opinion any day. I've found out this past month that I am just that-reliable. Why some people choose me as their outlet, I do not know. I do know that I am dependable.

As I was sitting in church Sunday,I was thinking about the significance of my crown ring, and how on that very same ring was my class ring. It is so simple to replace things in life with other things of value. One day that crown ring will be replaced by a wedding ring. Life is not always reliable, nor the things in it. We all need someone to feel like we can lean a shoulder on at anytime. This past month I feel has been a test from God over my reliability to not only Him, but others. They say everyone has a purpose while on earth, and I believe I have found mine.
Recap of this month:
*I have been asked my students from my school and other schools about the Lilly scholarship. They trusted me to help them with interview questions, essays, and encouragement.
*I have helped girls with their guys problems and guys with their girl problems. I seem to be able to help everyone with their relationship problems but my own. I don't mind, because through telling them insight I gain some in my own. No partner is perfect, we just have to find who's imperfects we're willing to deal with the most.
*I have had to help other with just the everyday stress of college and encourage others that "this too shall pass."
*I have been a venting outlet for people I haven't talked to in years or since high school. It makes me feel like no matter what people know that they can always call me through all the ups and downs.
*I have been through friends with serious phone calls of cancer. The words "You're the only person who would understand." ring in my head that sometimes you are all that other person has. Although my experience with various types of cancer from my pappaw and nursing makes me glad my friend called me, but also wish the best of luck to her family. God has a plan for everyone, and illness I believe only tests your faith in God just as God did with Job. He will never give you more than you can handle.
*Lastly, the most unique one was giving someone feedback on their bucket list. While this may seem silly, to me this meant this person was opening up to not only me, but himself. He thought some of his ideas were crazy or dumb, but to me they were just thinking outside the box, and made you realize deep down what a person really is like.
While I may not trust others, others trust me. Funny thing isn't it? I've had parents come to me to help their son/daughter out with life. What wise words I could say God himself only knows! And while I may not open my heart to others, I open up my mind. I'm hoping others trust in me makes me realize my need and trust for others. Sometimes the only thing a person needs is that sense of trust, reliability,hope-sense of possibility. Everyone needs that reassurance for the future. The words of "You're such a sweetheart. You're the most caring person in the world. Thanks for listening to me. You're voice calms me." (Btw I did not make these up but are texts from the past month from people who I've helped) These simple words mean the world to me to know that I am reliable. While things in this world, such as rings,relationships, or friends, I know that I can give the feeling of hope, of truth, of reliability, of a friend.

These Days

RASCAL FLATTS! RASCAL FLATTS! RASCAL FLATTS! On the way to pick up my meet and greet tickets to FINALLY meet Rascal Flatts, of course I was jamming to their music! I've seen them in concert many times and own all of their Cd's...true fan right?! As I was hardcore rocking out, there was a man at the stoplight with a sign saying he was homeless and in need of money. People drove by him, but the lyrics to one of Rascal Flatts popped up and said, "Life throws you curves, but you learn to swerve." It made me think the economy is horrible, and I do not know this man's story but he was thrown a curve. I let down my window to offer the guy money, and he did seem genuinely thankful. I continued to drive back to my dorm and thought of all the curve balls thrown in a person's life. Sure, I get stressed with school, but I could have to pay with my own money all of my schooling. If that was the case I definitely would not be at a private college, but down the road. Every girl goes through this and it drives them crazy that they can't seem to get the one guy they have their eye on. No matter how many signs show you're just "that girl friend", we still go for it. It could be worse and the guy completely ignore me and never hang with me, but there's still that chance that every guy or girl holds onto that they still have by some miracle or stars aligning that things could work out. I sometimes wish my family was closer, but once I came to college I realized how close my family really is with each other. We are dependable,loving, and as I look back do share a lot of good stories. I get frustrated that I am not this way or that, but in reality I should be proud of who I am. Some people have to worry about necessity of life like food and shelter. I have been so blessed in my life that my problems are so minor they shouldn't even be considered worries. You never know when someone else is struggling so always be willing to help. This may make a lifetime of a difference. I started writing simple notes to a girl in my class with problems, the issues turned into resolutions, which then turned into a friendship, and eventually a strong Christian woman. I want to impact people's life for the better, even something small as in a note or giving a few dollars to someone with nothing. Be encouraging today, everyday, for this is the only day given to you. Carpe Diem.

Mask It Out

Tons of crazy students at parties. Thousands of fans screaming at the playoff game. Tons of amazing friends always surrounding you. Sounds like the good life right? Everyone else sees it this way but me. Sometimes you can have many people around you & still feel all alone. It's hard to realize when someone feels like this, because they wear a mask along with the halfway smiles & fake laughs that cover what's behind the mask. I wonder what everyone would look like without their masks to hide behind.

Behind my mask is someone who needs to not let others run over her. I get taken advantage of a lot. By many people, sometimes purposely others not. I've gotten so used to it that I don't even notice until someone tells me that I am being used. Kinda sad that someone else needs to tell me when something is wrong with me.

Behind my mask is the most outgoing girl you'll ever meet. Some people wouldn't ever notice this because I'm quiet when you first meet me but then I warm up to people through trusting them.

Behind my mask is someone who needs to trust others. When I get to know someone I don't trust them 100% and then they lose my trust after they mess up. No, you earn your trust with me. I've been hurt one too many times to let someone else screw up my life. I am not naive even though I may come off that way.

After my mask is off, hopefully everyone sees the person I know I am and want to be. Holding back never got anybody anywhere. Without my mask, all I ask of everyone that comes through this life is to say two simple phrases we use everyday: "Sorry" and "Thank you."

If you think about it, in every situation everyone says sorry and thank you. In love relationships, I would say ,"I'm sorry for believing I fell for you. I'm sorry I believed you were different. You showed me that along with other girls. But thank you for making me realize I can't play these games anymore. I'm the coach of my own team now, and you're just a player getting played."
To my friends, "I'm sorry if I've ever hurt you in anyway possible. I'm sorry I wasn't always supportive of your crazy ideas. But thank you for showing me what true friendship really is. Thank you for letting me be myself and accepting me through all my mistakes.
To my family, "I'm sorry I'm not always there as I should. I wish I had more time dedicated to my family for they truly are my biggest fan club. But thank you for being the solid support system that I've had throughout my life and will continue too. I've never met such a strong Christian family. Most people don't believe me when I talk about my family. I think it says something there."
To my God, "I'm sorry I've made mistakes in my life and you know what they are. No one is perfect but I strive to be as perfect to be with You one day. But thank you for your Son, Jesus Christ, who died on a cross for my sins. Without forgiveness I would be lost."

No longer am I holding back my opinion, I am taking off my mask and letting every event in life (good or bad) not hide who I really am.

2009

" I wanna go to the college for the rest of my life." As of right now, that is me! I love all of my friends. We have grown so close and I was nervous about going to college knowing no one, but in the end I have made more friends than some people meet in a lifetime. I hope to continue loving college and being successful at nursing.

Nashville. Love it! Grand Ole Opry is very interesting even for those who do not love country music. The hotel is just as amazing, and pretty sure that is where my wedding will be held!

Disney with my girls. Magical place where all your dreams come true and worries go away. Must experience this place more than once in your life! I did enjoy Morgan getting every characters autograph and her stories about sheep!

Bahamas. I love the beach soooo much! My room is a tropical getaway. I got that from my mother. Words cannot explain how clear and the water is there. It is as if someone dropped blue dye into the water. It is unreal!

I made it! Finally out of there. And no I have yet to look back and wish I was back. I've found myself and surrounded myself with people with similar goals, morals, and ideals. High school taught me life lessons and I owe it that. I gave the opening speech, and those were my last words at SHS.

Kenny Chesney concert! Seven hours of pure awesomeness! I love concerts and music! Music is my way of expressing myself when I cannot put things into conversations with others. It is my stress relief and tells who I am. When I graduate from college, I do not want a new house or car, but a baby grand piano. Call me a dork, but it is who I am.

The greatest blessing. Full ride scholarship. I worked hard, but none of that would be possible without the love of my father. He's dedicated his life to me. I know I can ever express how much he means to me. I did it for him, not for myself, because I know he wants the best for me and would never settle for less. I did want him working three jobs to get me through college. With this scholarship, I can live my dream of becoming a nurse into a college with direct admit entrance. Also, I can not forget my Father above who has given me all and more in life. I do not understand why God chose me, but He did. Thank you.

Prom. I loved it this year, because I wasn't in charge ha! Also, I fell in love with this boy. Not real love, but the feeling of love to clarify. He taught me to do something irrational and take a chance for once in my life. I took a chance in life without make a pros and cons list. It was nice. With that chance, comes trust. He also taught me that trust can be given and taken away so easily. Once trust is broken, it is hard to regain. For once in my life, I stood up to someone who was running over me. I walked away and realized I have bigger goals in life and not wasting my time on second chances. Life only offers one, as do I. He is still my best friend, just one I sadly cannot trust, but through it I regret none and I am a stronger person.

My best friend since kindergarten moved to a school about forty minutes away. Not too far, but when you have been with this person pretty much everyday of your life for eighteen years, that is tough. I realized this move was for the better for her basketball career, her family, and other drama that silly small towns include. I also realized that distance does make the heart stronger. We became closer in that senior school year then I ever would have imagined. We still hung out like always and supported each other. I met so many new friends through her and blessed I met these people.

Senior Night. I told myself I wouldn't cry, and what do I do? Yes, I cried. I had a speech, because I never go anywhere unprepared. When I got to the part about my friends, I lost it. They are at my games, and truly are priceless. I've never known girls to have such tight friends in my life! Then, I couldn't even utter words when I talked about my dad. If you haven't met my dad, well then you're missing out! He is MY cheerleader! To give you an idea of the type of man my dad is---Jordan thanked my dad and his parents in his speech. I hope to impact some one's life like that.

"We do not remember days; we remember moments."

-Cesare Paveese, The Burning Brand

These moments in my life sum up the events in 2009 which make me who I am. This year has been the end of one chapter of my life, not the end. Only finishing another chapter, because I have many more chapters to fill in my book. This year has been life changing in more ways than one. I've stood up for myself and not let others run over me. I've completed so many things I never knew God could bless me with. I owe it all to God, my Father in Heaven.My first love-cheerleading. This has been my life for so many years. It has taught me hard work, state championships, how to work with others, how to stand up for myself, and expressing myself the best way which is dancing. My team is my family. No one understands the bond until you're part of it. My sound cheesy, but these girls and guys will always be my family that I love. Cheerleading will always be part of my life, because it taught me to be outgoing, and that a smart, Christian girl can be a state champion cheerleader. So don't judge a book by its cover.

My Keeper

I watched the movie, My Sister's Keeper ,and the little girl had no control over her body. Neither did the lawyer who stood up for her. Some things in life we do not choose, as in what family or country we are born into, or operations.Sometimes things are forced upon us for reasons we do not understand. Without a mom, I learned to be independent. By being in and out of hospitals, I learned to take care of others before myself.

In and out of hospitals as a child I could tell you almost every doctor and what floor they helped on. I could give diabetic needles and help someone on and off a wheelchair. My pappaw was in the later stages of his life when I came into his life. Diabetes was a common word I heard growing up. Strict diets along with a strict grandpa were also there. He never really said much but when he did, he said it for a reason. Everyone loved my pappaw, because he was hard on people and pushed them to do their best. He never complained during any of the numerous operations he encountered over his life. He kept seeing what else he could do to help others like my dad and me. I learned that lesson from him. I also learned some things in life we have on control over...like cancer.

Watching this movie and my pappaw's death made me realize I cannot control some events in life. Be content with what you have and do the best with what you have. Heard it before I know but it doesn't really hit home until something drastic happens in your life. His death made me see people for their soul and not their body. It really is only temporary. Kind of like God is letting us rent it out, and if we take care of what is inside then we get our money back (heaven). I am not afraid of death or cancer. Things happen in life that we cannot prevent and are inevitable. Carpe Diem.

The last thing my grandpa said to me was, "Good girl." He was paralyzed, could barely speak, and we all knew he was near the end. He uttered those words for a reason. When he spoke; he spoke with purpose. My pappaw is still to this day watching out for me. because whenever I face a tough decision the words he said to me come back. It reminds me of who I am and what I stand for. No one wants to have a broken heart. No one wants a loved one to pass away. No one wants loneliness, fear, or hatred, but no matter our limitations in life...we all live this crazy thing called life.