Resolution

Phil 13:3 "Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead."

Four months into the new year, and I am checking in with how I am doing with my New Year's Resolutions. I made a few simple ones to better myself. Through bettering myself, I am hoping I can better those around me.

1. Find out your strengths and weakens and improve upon them.

My weakness: seeing the good in everyone (even those who do not deserve it), perfectionist, tries to please everyone, can never say, "No", and keeps my emotions inside me. My strengths: put others before myself, honest to the point where I could hurt your feelings but hey I'm being honest, every body's best friend, standing firm in my faith, and never giving up.

2. Settle for a guy who is everything with no excuses.

I do not want to make excuses for someone. "Oh they drink, but I really can handle it." No, I actually hate to worry about what trouble the guy will cause. I do not want all these great things, then one bad trait. I do not want this one bad trait to cause me to lie to myself about who I want to be with in my life. All or nothing. Last year, a good friend of mine, who actually was in love with me since we met in college, said, "If you have to feel different around someone than I would have to question their values." I believe that is true. I have firm values ,and I make them clear. Sometimes I make people mad, because I do not want to settle and be with someone. That is fine with me, but I promised myself two years ago I would not date someone unless they went to church with me..or at least attempted. God is the most important thing in my life and holds me together. My dad always says three things couples must have "common upbringing, common religion, and common interests." Sadly, I have found this out. Many times I have wanted to give up and thought who would actually WANT to go to church with me, let alone talk about it. I have not given up and have found that one guy who helps me keep that promise to myself to only date someone if they go to church with me. I now strongly believe that God leads you to people and does things in HIS time.

3. Do not get run over.

Because I do have firm values, and I am nice. In turn, that means I get run over. After certain events in my life, I wanted to stop doing good. This was not me in any way possible. It was almost a job for me to stop doing good. I realized it was built into me. Something so grounded in you does not go away. Certain people have come into my life, and made me believe in myself and doing good... Being myself. Near the end of my grandpa's life, he could barely talk. The last words he said to me were, "Good girl."This is a reminder to myself to continue doing good. These were his last words for a reason , and I want these to be the last words people say about me at the end of mine.

Keep up with your own New Year's Resolutions :)

Wishing I was 21...

The title of this post may have many of you assuming I wish I was 21 to go to bars and drink. WRONG! I titled this post to see how many of you would assume that and also to show that things have deeper meanings than the surface. Last night was my twin(Greek twin)'s 21st birthday. I turn 21 in four months. Unlike most people my age, I will not go to bars and forget my birthday. I will be at an FFA state convention for my best friend. She is the Indiana State FFA President and of all the thousands of people she knows...she picked me. I know nothing about FFA, but I am honored. In front of over 11,000 people, I have the opportunity to talk about a girl who inspires me and consider my little sister. That is what I will be doing on my 21st birthday.
Now, at 20 years old. I have only lived two decades, but I would like to enlighten those with the "naive wisdom" that I give my little sisters (Greek again). I give them advice daily and I sometimes reflect upon what I say and think, "Man I sound like my dad." I've always wanted a little sister. My mom left my dad when I was three, and ever since then I've wanted a little sister. I found out the combination to my dad's briefcase and slipped in pieces of paper with the adoption number for children overseas. I didn't understand why I couldn't just pick up a sister. My dad insisted that I wouldn't want a little sister by the time the adoption papers and everything went through. After all of this time, I still wanted someone to help and take care of. I am always looking for the best for them whether it be with homework, Zeta, or advice. I am glad they can come to me with their problems, and hope to continue to do so in the future.

Here are 21 things I have learned by 21:



1. Do for others first.
I receive great satisfaction out of seeing others happy. It actually makes me happy, even when I feel like there is no hope.

2. You can't please everyone.
If you do that, someone will complain one way or another. Do what you think is best, and it usually is for everyone too.

3. You are some one's example.
Sometimes I feel like the best role model and then other times I feel not even worthy of people talking to me. No matter how you feel, someone somewhere looks up to you, leans upon you, and depends on you.

4. Do your best always.
I constantly tell my littles this! Even if you feel like you failed, you at least know you gave your best shot. And if you do your best, and got whatever you were achieving, then you know you are the best. Never doubt yourself (coming from a girl who so often does)!

5. Love unconditionally.
Love all people with your whole heart. Good or bad. Love with all of your being.

6. Tell yourself everyday that you are smart, beautiful, and confident.
Whenever I get down on myself, I look in the mirror and repeat these words until I believe them. I think a lot of girls should say this daily, because everybody is in their own way.

7. There are two sides to every story.
Sometimes it is difficult to see another person's point of view. By seeing other people's perspective, it gains insight in your own. And remember....you are NOT always right.

8. Be open to change.
I am not saying change for anything or anyone. I mean if any idea is better for a group as a whole, go with it. If a new guy that is totally different than your past ones, go for it. Change is good as long as you keep an open mind.

9. Love finds you.
If you go and try to find someone who is right for you, it won't happen. Someone will come along and make you believe in yourself again. When you care about that person who finds you, give them all of your heart. Once again never do anything halfway or you're cheating yourself.

10. Everything is better in the morning.
My grandma always says this. If I am ever upset, it never fails. I wake up and laugh and wonder why I worried about that the night before.

11. Don't worry about "What Ifs"
I used to be the biggest worrier of all mankind. I used to plan outlets if something did not go right. Most of the time nothing bad every happened thankfully. Wait until that "what if" comes, because most of the time it never will. Instead concern your time with now and what it holds or you'll lose that too and say "what if".

12. Listen to your gut.
But not when you are hungry. In anatomy last year, this concept hit me. Maybe our soul is in our gut so to speak. People say follow your heart. No, this leads to emotional thinking. People say listen to your head. No, this leads to over thinking. People say go with your gut feeling. I started doing this, and my life is a lot simpler. Usually my first instinct gets me to where I need to be in life.

13. In the end, being good pays off.
So often I want to give up being nice, but in the end what would I benefit from that? Good things really do come to those who wait. I've cried many times wondering why people seem to want you to fail. As soon as I felt that way, I received a full ride scholarship or an award for WHO I AM. I would be nothing without God. Everyday I thank Him for never letting me give up on myself. My little received a position as a Orientation Leader. She wanted to give up doing good. I told her about myself, and because of her good actions she received good in return. Patience is the key.

14. Be honest with yourself.
If you can't be honest with yourself, then who can you be honest with?

15. Don't anticipate anything.
Never expect anything of anybody. It is something we all strive for but when others do not live up to our expectation for them it is something we never expect! Don't anticipate that big test or that vacation. Live each day as if it is all God has to offer you.

16. Happiness is all in your perspective.
Things could always be worse, so be happy :)

17. Tell people you love them always.
Love is such a strong emotion, feeling, and action. Since it is so strong and powerful, it should be used often.

18. Believe in someone.
Giving someone the inspiration to know that someone believes in their dreams. A girl in my high school still chats with me about her dreams to be a singer. As hard as that dream may be to achieve, I still believe in her. She has such strong love and passion for people and never loses hope. I look up to her for always believing. It is so hard to think you can not do something. Believing in someone, helps you believe in yourself.

19. Be humble.
Be thankful for small things. Your shoes, coat, house, friends, family, health. There are soooo many things. I stop and I am thankful for God giving us color. Or the ability to sing to him and listen to music and feel emotions. Or my favorite is those cool, spring days when you sit on your front porch and smell the air of "newness." That is the best smell in the world of promise, renewal, and hope. Take time to appreciate the little things.

20. Love a person's soul.
I considered this one before, but never deeply until tonight talking with a friend. When I look at people, I judge them for their soul. Not their outward appearance. For example, your dads never do age do they? Yes, they do, but you don't notice because you think "Oh hey that's just my dad." You automatically think of him as a person, his soul. So many people I do that with anymore. Maybe it comes with becoming older. Try looking into people's soul. That is the REAL person.

21. God is good.
Always.

Puzzle

"Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle."-Lewis Carroll.

The other day I became frustrated and well to put it simply...puzzled. Hence, why I named this blog "Puzzle." Each day we face puzzles of life. We have to decide where the put our puzzle pieces, why we put them there, and how we are going to get there to put it all together. I personally never did like puzzles. What is the point of a putting tiny pieces together to make a picture that you already knew what the big picture was going to look like? It just gets put back into a box in the end to either be put back together or sit on a shelf with dust.

With anything in life, we have events that change the way we think about life. When I was at the nursing home, a lady daily worked on a puzzle. One day, she realized the last piece was missing. She assumed someone had lost it while trying to work on it for her. She looked everywhere for that ONE piece. I was even on my hands in knees searching for something as small as a microbe. Finally, she gave up searching. She was a little upset about it, but then turned to me and said, "That's life." At first, I did not know how to take this. Did she mean we all fail or lose at something or did she mean she accepted the puzzle piece was missing, and even though it upset her you move on. To me, the lady accepted the piece was missing. She seemed content the rest of the day and put the puzzle back in its box without the piece still. Even though, a piece was missing, to her it was complete. I believe many people look at life as if all of the pieces should fall into place easily. Not everything is that easy...some things in life you feel are "missing" are just your perspective on life.

For me, I feel certain pieces are missing and will always be that way. Sometimes I get frustrated and wonder what if, what if, what if. But then I have to take a step back and think in a different perspective and think about all the pieces of my life God has blessed me with. He never promised it would be easy, but He said He would always be there for us and never give us any temptation we cannot endure. This encourages me, because I look at my puzzle, or life, sometimes and think something is missing. When in reality, I need to think they are missing ,but that is what makes me who I am. Whether we realize it or not, everything falls into place. This may seem naive, but I would rather accept things than deny them. I plan to not fill in the pieces of my puzzle, and ask, "Who in the world am I?" I would rather look at my puzzle and say, "That's life. My life."

Roll the Credits

Title: Five Daily Rules to Live By Each Day
Director: Brooke Routh

No one wants to be forgotten. We have monuments, memorials, and even holidays so people do not forget certain people or events that have happened over time. In movies, the credits at the end of the movie give credit to those individuals who have put in time and dedication towards the making of a movie. They want to be recognized for what they have done. Now, we may not have a monument or movie, but each of us do not want to be forgotten. We all in some form or fashion want to make an impact. Each of us have a movie of our lives. At the end of movies are credits. Who would be in your credits? Family? Friends? God? Or do you lack any of these credits? Would you be ashamed or accept these credits at the end of your movie?

Recently, my friends have been affected by two young lives taken from this world. This inspired me to write a blog about what most people blog about...life. Death is something that is inevitable just as rain, sunshine, and taxes are. Time is another element of life that is inevitable. My first year of college flew by so quickly. The last day felt like the first and the rest was a blur. I've met amazing people that I've felt like I've known all my life. Time has a funny way of seeming to go by faster as we get older. When we are younger we couldn't wait until we were older. We all wanted to drive that new car, go on that awesome prom date, or even date that boy that made you feel like that you could never love again. Even though time seems to speed up and make us think that there is no way that 60 seconds are in a minute. Time has not changed. And as time "speeds" up, we forget who we are and what really is important in our lives. Sometimes we lose that chance to let others know who we really are or simply that we love them. Although I am not afraid of death because I know there is freedom through death, I decided to make a list of five goals I believe everyone should have ever day. These goals reflect how I would want people to remember me. I would want them to know that only God can judge me and my actions as a Christian, but I believe that Christ died on that cross for me and through His grace I am given an eternal home in Heaven with Him because of His self-less act. That was Christ's purpose...to give us freedom from our sins. We all have a purpose in life. I can't change the world as earth shattering as that would be. I can impact one person, who will then impact another and soon many others.There are 5 daily rules I want to live by because at the end of my movie I want the credits to roll on and inspire others.

1. Smile
You never know who's day it may make. As a nurse, doctor, or whatever I decide to do when I grow up, I want to make some one's day by doing a simple act. A smile ensures trust.
2. Pray
Good or bad times...always pray.
3. Inspire
I always try to stay positive and keep every one's heads up even when I feel like I can't lift my head up anymore. Encouragement and making others believe in themselves is a rewarding gift. Make others want to better themselves each day.
4. Always say I love you and Never say Good-bye
Love is the strongest emotion humans can show and even when someone is not with us it still exists. Something that strong should be said everyday as a reminder to those around us. Good-bye means forever as if you will never see that person again, so if you know me very well I always say see you later. See you later means there will be another time.
5. Do not just exist each day...live. Live for God
You never know when it will be your last day to roll your credits.

The End

Elimination

In life we all eliminate things, people, or memories. I have tried to eliminate people who have hurt me from my life. I've tried eliminating things I haven't needed over the year from toys to uniforms. I've tried to eliminate memories that I wish had never happened. Whatever the reason I wanted to get rid of my things, I know that they were just passing another phase of my life to be replaced by something else in the next stage. Whatever the reason I wanted to forget the bad memories, I know that they were just lessons learned, and I should never forget the lesson left behind.Whatever the reason someone may have hurt me, I learned in the long run that forgiveness is the key to true elimination.

With that being said, have you ever wondered what true forgiveness really is? Is it the words, "I'm sorry." Is it doing something in return for that wrongful deed? Today, in nursing class we did an activity that involved eliminating things or people close to you due to a serious illness that has overtaken your body. You start off with a list of four people close to you. One short-term goal you have in life. Two things you enjoy doing. One long-term goal in life. Two personal things you possess you treasure.
My list:
1. Dad
2. Mammaw
3. Kourtney
4. Kami
5. Nurse Practitioner
6. Playing the piano
7. Dancing
8. Cure to Diabetes
9. Faith
10. Kaiden (puppy)

As I started to eliminate things one by one, it made me realize how easily things can be taken away from you in a heartbeat. Sometimes life is out of control. Sometimes we feel like we are a hamster in a wheel spinning our wheels and headed nowhere. Sometimes we feel like giving up and eliminating everything. Sometimes the things on our list I realized are the only things keeping us alive. When uncertainty in life comes upon us, I realized that crossing the items off one by one by what I consider important. To most of you, one would assume that your father or mother would be the only one not eliminated from the list, but unlike the rest of my class I chose my faith. Christ said, "Pick up your cross and follow me. Leave behind all your possessions, your father, your mother." In the end, when life has you spinning your wheels, faith is all you have left. I love all of these things on my list more than words can express, yet without my faith I am an empty soul living life for what purpose? I pray that the last thing on your list would be your faith in God above all things.

Reliable(adj)-that may be relied on; dependable in achievement, accuracy, honest. I like to define words, because it gives it well- meaning behind it, validity, truth, or just simply reliability. I like the facts over an opinion any day. I've found out this past month that I am just that-reliable. Why some people choose me as their outlet, I do not know. I do know that I am dependable.

As I was sitting in church Sunday,I was thinking about the significance of my crown ring, and how on that very same ring was my class ring. It is so simple to replace things in life with other things of value. One day that crown ring will be replaced by a wedding ring. Life is not always reliable, nor the things in it. We all need someone to feel like we can lean a shoulder on at anytime. This past month I feel has been a test from God over my reliability to not only Him, but others. They say everyone has a purpose while on earth, and I believe I have found mine.
Recap of this month:
*I have been asked my students from my school and other schools about the Lilly scholarship. They trusted me to help them with interview questions, essays, and encouragement.
*I have helped girls with their guys problems and guys with their girl problems. I seem to be able to help everyone with their relationship problems but my own. I don't mind, because through telling them insight I gain some in my own. No partner is perfect, we just have to find who's imperfects we're willing to deal with the most.
*I have had to help other with just the everyday stress of college and encourage others that "this too shall pass."
*I have been a venting outlet for people I haven't talked to in years or since high school. It makes me feel like no matter what people know that they can always call me through all the ups and downs.
*I have been through friends with serious phone calls of cancer. The words "You're the only person who would understand." ring in my head that sometimes you are all that other person has. Although my experience with various types of cancer from my pappaw and nursing makes me glad my friend called me, but also wish the best of luck to her family. God has a plan for everyone, and illness I believe only tests your faith in God just as God did with Job. He will never give you more than you can handle.
*Lastly, the most unique one was giving someone feedback on their bucket list. While this may seem silly, to me this meant this person was opening up to not only me, but himself. He thought some of his ideas were crazy or dumb, but to me they were just thinking outside the box, and made you realize deep down what a person really is like.
While I may not trust others, others trust me. Funny thing isn't it? I've had parents come to me to help their son/daughter out with life. What wise words I could say God himself only knows! And while I may not open my heart to others, I open up my mind. I'm hoping others trust in me makes me realize my need and trust for others. Sometimes the only thing a person needs is that sense of trust, reliability,hope-sense of possibility. Everyone needs that reassurance for the future. The words of "You're such a sweetheart. You're the most caring person in the world. Thanks for listening to me. You're voice calms me." (Btw I did not make these up but are texts from the past month from people who I've helped) These simple words mean the world to me to know that I am reliable. While things in this world, such as rings,relationships, or friends, I know that I can give the feeling of hope, of truth, of reliability, of a friend.

These Days

RASCAL FLATTS! RASCAL FLATTS! RASCAL FLATTS! On the way to pick up my meet and greet tickets to FINALLY meet Rascal Flatts, of course I was jamming to their music! I've seen them in concert many times and own all of their Cd's...true fan right?! As I was hardcore rocking out, there was a man at the stoplight with a sign saying he was homeless and in need of money. People drove by him, but the lyrics to one of Rascal Flatts popped up and said, "Life throws you curves, but you learn to swerve." It made me think the economy is horrible, and I do not know this man's story but he was thrown a curve. I let down my window to offer the guy money, and he did seem genuinely thankful. I continued to drive back to my dorm and thought of all the curve balls thrown in a person's life. Sure, I get stressed with school, but I could have to pay with my own money all of my schooling. If that was the case I definitely would not be at a private college, but down the road. Every girl goes through this and it drives them crazy that they can't seem to get the one guy they have their eye on. No matter how many signs show you're just "that girl friend", we still go for it. It could be worse and the guy completely ignore me and never hang with me, but there's still that chance that every guy or girl holds onto that they still have by some miracle or stars aligning that things could work out. I sometimes wish my family was closer, but once I came to college I realized how close my family really is with each other. We are dependable,loving, and as I look back do share a lot of good stories. I get frustrated that I am not this way or that, but in reality I should be proud of who I am. Some people have to worry about necessity of life like food and shelter. I have been so blessed in my life that my problems are so minor they shouldn't even be considered worries. You never know when someone else is struggling so always be willing to help. This may make a lifetime of a difference. I started writing simple notes to a girl in my class with problems, the issues turned into resolutions, which then turned into a friendship, and eventually a strong Christian woman. I want to impact people's life for the better, even something small as in a note or giving a few dollars to someone with nothing. Be encouraging today, everyday, for this is the only day given to you. Carpe Diem.