Genesis

Genesis means an origin, creation, or beginning. Here's my genesis. I recently started college at the University of Evansville. The never ending tears and tired face that was upon me all summer suddenly went away as soon as I stepped onto campus. Fear held me back this past summer from thinking about the future. Fear has never held me back. People's opinion and decisions gave me an even greater fear of indecisiveness. Decisions have always been easy for me until then. All in all I feel I made the right beginning by choosing Evansville and nursing. I wouldn't trade my life for anything and I thank God everyday for blessing me with more than I ever deserve. Makes me wonder why he chose me to be so blessed? I know he has a path for me and I need to put all my trust in Him.

I'm currently on Christmas break back in "lovely" Scottsburg. I wish I could say I loved this place, my mom, and even some other people from my past, but the truth is you can't force yourself to love someone. I've grown up and become more independent from college but for certain I've learned that love cannot be forced and memories are never forgotten. Beginnings are essential in making the right impression and creating a solid relationship with love.

I wish I could make a new beginning with my mom, but my memory is very strong, almost photogenic. I wish she was a different person. I've tried ever since I could remember to help her be a better person. It hit me in 10th grade I could not change her. I realized then too that you can not ultimately change a person. I can still remember every house she lived in and what it smelled like and could tell you what she wore on certain weekends. May sound crazy but the memory is strong, which is a pity sometimes to remember everything. Makes the mind go mad.

I wish I could start a new beginning with love in general or whatever I called it back in high school. I want to begin new and date someone because of who they are through and through. I've dated the guy who played every sport the school had to offer (literally), the player, and of course the high school football captain. Sounds like every girls dream come true right? HA! Taylor Swift was wrong in her songs saying she wanted those guys. Sure, they were hot and every girl wanted what I had. But isn't that the way life usually goes? People always wanting the best or what you have? Not anymore, in my new beginning, I'm going for what I honestly deep down want. There's no more drama or others judging who you date. This beginning will have real emotions, real feelings, real connection based upon beliefs and morals, nothing else. In the end, that's what really matters.

Also, in this beginning, I hope to open up to others so everyone can see the real me. I close myself off to others. They never get a chance to know the real me. The real me is real! I'm not a fake dumb cheerleader stereotype. I'm smart (even though I deny myself this). I'm honest. I'm the most dependable person. I'll always be by your side through thick and thin. I'm independent but still need that one person to help me realize I'm not superwoman and need a hand to hold (still looking for that boy). I love God.

As for my Genesis here's my bucket list that I've had for a few years, and I hope at the end of my blogs I can say I have a Revelation.

1. Skydive

2. Live to be 100

3. Be the best mom ever (I hope I don't fall because I've never seen what it's like to be a mom!)

4. Fall in love with a boy who is "real" with me. Not fake, no lies. He is love (1 Cor. 13)

5. Praise God all of my days to be with Him in Heaven one day.

6. Inspire others.

7. Influence others to Christ.

8. Develop a cure to cancer (Hopefully diabetes. It runs in my family)

9. Run in a marathon.

10. Record a CD (Not make it big just get my feelings down in music for myself)

11. Buy a baby grand piano

12. Forgive.

"Whatever you are; be a good one."- Abe Lincoln

>Brooke Nicole<