Tons of crazy students at parties. Thousands of fans screaming at the playoff game. Tons of amazing friends always surrounding you. Sounds like the good life right? Everyone else sees it this way but me. Sometimes you can have many people around you & still feel all alone. It's hard to realize when someone feels like this, because they wear a mask along with the halfway smiles & fake laughs that cover what's behind the mask. I wonder what everyone would look like without their masks to hide behind.
Behind my mask is someone who needs to not let others run over her. I get taken advantage of a lot. By many people, sometimes purposely others not. I've gotten so used to it that I don't even notice until someone tells me that I am being used. Kinda sad that someone else needs to tell me when something is wrong with me.
Behind my mask is the most outgoing girl you'll ever meet. Some people wouldn't ever notice this because I'm quiet when you first meet me but then I warm up to people through trusting them.
Behind my mask is someone who needs to trust others. When I get to know someone I don't trust them 100% and then they lose my trust after they mess up. No, you earn your trust with me. I've been hurt one too many times to let someone else screw up my life. I am not naive even though I may come off that way.
After my mask is off, hopefully everyone sees the person I know I am and want to be. Holding back never got anybody anywhere. Without my mask, all I ask of everyone that comes through this life is to say two simple phrases we use everyday: "Sorry" and "Thank you."
If you think about it, in every situation everyone says sorry and thank you. In love relationships, I would say ,"I'm sorry for believing I fell for you. I'm sorry I believed you were different. You showed me that along with other girls. But thank you for making me realize I can't play these games anymore. I'm the coach of my own team now, and you're just a player getting played."
To my friends, "I'm sorry if I've ever hurt you in anyway possible. I'm sorry I wasn't always supportive of your crazy ideas. But thank you for showing me what true friendship really is. Thank you for letting me be myself and accepting me through all my mistakes.
To my family, "I'm sorry I'm not always there as I should. I wish I had more time dedicated to my family for they truly are my biggest fan club. But thank you for being the solid support system that I've had throughout my life and will continue too. I've never met such a strong Christian family. Most people don't believe me when I talk about my family. I think it says something there."
To my God, "I'm sorry I've made mistakes in my life and you know what they are. No one is perfect but I strive to be as perfect to be with You one day. But thank you for your Son, Jesus Christ, who died on a cross for my sins. Without forgiveness I would be lost."
No longer am I holding back my opinion, I am taking off my mask and letting every event in life (good or bad) not hide who I really am.
